A couple of weeks ago my wife went out on what she described as ‘a girls’ night out’. Naturally, I was excluded (though I have a male friend who claims – bafflingly – that he’s been invited to several such gatherings).
The point of a girls’ night out is, I guess, to enjoy a social gathering with a certain atmosphere and tone. At a single sex event, individuals interact in somewhat different ways, different conversations take place.
A girls’ night out is presumably a reaction to a longstanding (though dying?) tradition of lads’ nights out.
Now, they don’t seem to me to be objectionable – at least so long as they do not entirely crowd out social events in which both sexes are included.
But we wouldn’t approve (would we?) of a social occasion called ‘a whites’ night out’, or ‘a Muslims’ night out’. Of course, it may well be that a group of friends all have a religion, race or class in common and that they spend time together precisely because of their common interests or background. Still, if a non-Jew were to find out that some Jewish friends were going to the pub and wanted to join them, he/she would understandably be hurt by a ‘sorry, it’s a Jews’ night out’ rejection.
I distinguish a social gathering from another type of event – say a Bible-reading evening – where, obviously, it would be acceptable to have a ‘Christians-only’ policy.
Now, I’ve asked a couple of people at the Uehiro Centre whether they share this intuition – that a girl’s night out is alright, or at least not as offensive as a Jews’ night out. They do. But like me, can’t put their finger on exactly why. So suggestions welcome…